Forgive the Insubordination - Chapter Ten

Title: Forgive the Insubordination
Author: mpissott
Game: Mass Effect
Characters/Pairings: Garrus Vakarian/Femshep (Noelle Shepard)
Disclaimer: All recognizable content belongs to Bioware.

Shepard just stood in the shower for a few moments, contemplating everything that happened within the last 24 hours.  Kaidan’s death was obviously the most important, and the most difficult to swallow.  But, at the end of the day, putting your life on the line for the cause was part of the job.  Everything that happened afterwards was more confusing.  Shepard was extremely grateful for Garrus’s help.  If it weren’t for him, she probably wouldn’t have made it out of the shower last night.  He was a perfect gentleman about the whole situation.  But everything that happened after...Noelle didn’t know what to do with that.  They cuddled, fell asleep holding hands...he even made her two meals.  And what was he trying to accomplish by flirting with her this morning?  Of course, her and Garrus have playfully flirted before, but for a second she thought he might be serious.  If he was...well she didn’t really know what to do with that.  Sure, she was interested in Garrus, and if their relationship changed, she wouldn’t be upset.  But she wasn’t used to him being so forward.

Noelle shook her thoughts and finished her shower.  She needed to talk to the team, see what they could figure out from the beacon on Virmire.  She put on Kaidan’s hoodie again--she just wasn’t ready to let that go yet--grabbed coffee, and headed into the cockpit.  She gave Joker her report for the Council and called everyone to the comm room.

Shepard sat down in her usual spot.  Ashley was the first to arrive after her.  Ashley sat down and sighed, “I...I can’t believe Kaidan is gone.  How could we just leave him down there?”

Shepard returned the sigh, “Alenko knew the risks going in.  He gave his life to save the rest of us.”

“It should’ve been me, Commander.  You know that.”

With that, Shepard grew slightly angry.  “It wasn’t your call, Williams.  I had to choose, I chose you.”

“I-I’m sorry, Commander,” Ashley retorted, “You saved my life, I’m grateful for that.  But it should’ve been me.  Alenko was a superior officer.  I would’ve gladly stayed behind.”

Shepard snapped, “Ash, how far are you gonna drive yourself?  Are you trying to be a martyr to redeem your grandfather’s honor?”

“That’s not fair!”  She could see that she hit a nerve.

“What the public and the military did to him was unfair, but I don’t wanna lose a good soldier over it.”  Shepard didn’t want to argue with Ashley; didn’t want to have to say that Ash was a better soldier than Kaidan.  That wasn’t an opinion Noelle was ready to voice, it would be too disrespectful to Kaidan’s memory.

“Aye aye, Commander.” Williams conceded.  Shepard knew a great deal about survivor’s guilt; she suffered in silence from it after Torfan, and could see it written all over Ash’s face.  Shepard wanted to help, so that Williams didn’t fall into the same trap as she did.

With that, Liara interrupted, which made Shepard realize that everyone had arrived, God knows how long ago.  Liara suggested that they join their minds to see if the beacon on Virmire had cleared up any of Shepard’s visions.  Shepard was tired, but reluctantly agreed.  The mission had to go on, regardless of losing Kaidan.

Through joining their minds, Liara was able to figure out the location of the conduit.  It was on Ilos, which you could get to through the Mu Relay.  It was all coming together.  Now, they just had to wait on the Council.  Just as the meeting adjourned, Joker called over the comm, saying, “I forwarded the mission update to the Citadel, Commander.  We’ve got confirmation on those reinforcements.  Ambassador Udina wants us to report back to the Citadel.  The Council’s massing a joint-species fleet to deal with Saren and his geth.”

Shepard smiled.  Finally, the Council was listening! “Took them long enough!” she shouted.  “Back to the Citadel, Joker.  I want the Normandy at the head of that fleet.”

A few hours after arriving at the Citadel, Shepard and the crew ended up back at the Normandy, on lockdown.  That was definitely not how Shepard envisioned the day going.  How did this happen, you ask? Well...Shepard and the crew docked at the Citadel, and she brought Ashley and Garrus with her to the Citadel Tower.  Shepard expected to be coordinating the attack on Saren at Ilos; instead, the Council planned an attack of their own.

“Good job, Shepard,” Udina said, smiling (or his version of it), “Thanks to you the Council’s finally taking real action against Saren.”

Shepard returned the smile, but it was cut short by the interruption of the Council.

“The ambassador is correct,” the asari council member started, “If Saren is foolish enough to attack the Citadel, as you believe, we will be ready for him.”

Shepard’s expression changed immediately as she looked to Garrus and Ashley.  They will be ready for him?  They’re not taking the fight to him?

The turian councilor explained, “Patrols will be stationed at every mass relay linking Citadel Space to the Terminus Systems.”

Noelle couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  She could see Ash and Garrus seething, and it lit a fire inside of her.  “You think a blockade’s going to stop him?  He’s on Ilos looking for the Conduit right now!  What are you doing about that?”

The salarian councilor explained, “Ilos is only accessible through the Mu Relay, deep inside the Terminus Systems, Commander.  If we send a fleet in there, the only possible outcome is full-scale war.”  This did nothing to quell Shepard’s anger.

Udina turned to Shepard and said, “Now is the time for discretion, Commander.  Saren’s greatest weapon was secrecy.  Exposed, he is no longer a threat.  This is over.”

“Sovereign is the real threat.  Saren’s just a servant of the Reapers!”

The asari councilor chimed in, “Only you have seen the Reapers.  And then, only in visions.  We won’t invade the Terminus Systems because of a dream.”

“One ship going into the Terminus Systems won’t start a war.  I can be discreet.”  Noelle couldn’t believe that the Council was doing this.

The turian councilor retorted, “You detonated a nuclear device on Virmire! I wouldn’t call that discreet.”

“Your style served you well in the Traverse, Commander,” the asari councilor continued, “We recognize that.  But Ilos requires a deft touch.  We have the situation under control.”

Noelle felt like she was being punched in the face.  She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, but didn’t let the Council see.  She didn’t give them the satisfaction. “If Saren finds the Conduit, we’re all screwed.  We have to go to Ilos!”

“Ambassador Udina, I get the sense Commander Shepard isn’t willing to let this go.”  Boy, did she was to punch the turian councilor right in his mandible.  

“There are serious political implications here, Shepard.  Humanity’s made great gains thanks to you, but now you’re becoming more trouble than you’re worth.”

“You bastard!” Ashley screamed, “You’re selling us out!”  It was good that Ashley interjected.  Shepard couldn’t speak, she was so shocked.  She felt like someone punched her right in her gut.

Udina stepped towards the Council, adjusted his posture and said, “It’s just politics, Commander.  You’ve done your job, now let me do mine.  We’ve locked out all the Normandy’s primary systems.  Until further notice, you’re grounded.”

That broke Shepard.  “Are you insane?  After everything I’ve done, you still don’t believe me!”

“I think it’s time for you and your team to leave, Commander.  This no longer concerns you.  The Council can handle this, with my help, of course.”

And that’s how Shepard ended up sitting by her locker, trying to figure out how to get out of lockdown.  She’d tried everything, all official channels were closed.  If she didn’t figure out something--

“Hey,”  she heard a deep voice mutter.  She looked up and Garrus was there, “Want some company?”  He looked like he didn’t know whether he should be asking or not; if it was the right thing to do.

Shepard was still tense, but seeing Garrus made her feel a bit better.  “Sure, plop down right here.”  She patted a spot on the floor next to her.

For a few minutes, there was an awkward silence.  It was only awkward because she could see Garrus out of the corner of her eye; he was struggling for something to say, wringing out his hands nervously and fidgeting.  After what felt like forever, he just said, “I can’t believe the Council is treating you like this.  I-Is there anything I can do?  Maybe go hand-to-hand with the turian councilor?”

She laughed at the remark.  She should have known Garrus would pick up on her particular animosity for the turian councilor, especially after his comment about Virmire. “No, it’s okay,” she replied.  “Let’s just try to pretend that the world isn’t reaching it’s end, okay?  So...tell me about your family.  Where’d you grow up?”

“Well, I’ve already told you about my dad.  He’s a C-Sec man and doesn’t like people who think they can skirt the law...I thought he wouldn’t like you at first, but now I’m not so sure.  I think he would see the honor you carry with you all the time.  I have a sister, Solana.  We don’t get along all the time, but she’s one of the funniest, nicest people I know; yet she doesn’t pull punches when she feels angry or betrayed.  She’s kind of like you in that way, actually.  Then...there’s my mother.  She was a beautiful, smart, sophisticated turian woman.  I guess she’s what you humans would call a “housewife”, she always made sure me and Sol were taken care of.  But a few months ago, she got sick.  Some kind of degenerative disease that affects memory.  It’s the turian equivalent of what the humans call Alzheimers, I think.  I’m gonna be lucky if she remembers me the next time I visit home.  We’ve been trying to get her treatments, but they’re expensive and hard to find.”
“Wow...that’s quite a family you’ve got there.  I’m sorry about your mom.  Tell me more.”

“Well,”  Garrus continued, “I grew up on Palaven, it’s the turian homeworld.  It’s hot for humans, there’s a lot of solar radiation, but not where I grew up.  Most of the time we’re away from the sun, so it’s hot, but nothing too hot.  By the time my parents had Sol and I, they moved into a beachfront home, paid for by my dad’s C-Sec pension.  I do miss the beach there.”

Before Shepard could realize it, she was facing Garrus, with her hand on his leg.  “I know you don’t get to see them a lot, but your family should realize how much you love them.  I can tell just from how you talk about them.  And Palaven sounds beautiful, maybe if we don’t all become ash under the strong arm of the Reapers, I can visit there with you.”

Shepard noticed that Garrus moved closer under her touch.  Their faces were almost touching.  “Yeah...I’d like that,” Garrus hummed.  The sound that Garrus made was much more primal than anything she’d heard from him before.  It was deep and...seductive.  She felt them moving closer to each other.  Just as their lips were about to touch…

“Sorry to interrupt, Commander.” Joker’s voice rung over the loudspeaker.  “Got a message from Captain Anderson.  The Captain said to meet him at Flux, that club down in the Wards.”

Shepard closed her eyes, letting herself feel close to Garrus.  She moved her hand from his leg up to his face, and touched her forehead to his.  “I guess that’s my cue,”  Shepard observed as she rose.  She turned around with her signature smirk and said, “Suit up Vakarian, you’re coming with me.”